Family Photos with Teens: How to Get Even the Most Reluctant Teenagers On Board

As the family steps out of the car, I can already tell that the older kids are only here because they have to be. I head over to say hi, and they look up for half a second… then back to their phones. 

This should be fun. 

Telling them to ‘just relax’ or ‘act natural’ is going to make them withdraw even more, and letting them skulk in the background will produce some awkward photos.

But there’s something unique and special about these kids. Something that makes their parents proud of them. And I figure the best way to find out what that is, is to ask.

As their mum starts gushing about the kids’ talents, their creativity, how kind and thoughtful they can be, I watch their faces soften. Little flickers of self-conscious smiles become big happy grins, and they stand a bit taller.

The ice is broken in a truly beautiful way, and I get to capture some images that celebrate this family’s love and connection. And actually, it really is fun.

Family photography is for big kids too! 

Your teenagers are too old to like being called ‘cute’, and they’re probably way cooler than you (sorry). The idea of posing for a photoshoot with—gasp—their parents is probably so skibidi. Or is it… not skibidi?

But your kids are still awesome, and your family is worth celebrating. So how do you get them to agree to a photoshoot with the folks?

Oh, those complicated teenage years

Everyone’s different, of course. Some people breeze through adolescence like it’s one big High School Musical. 

But let’s not forget how hard and confusing it can be. Friends and all their complications, mortifying body changes, the ultra-importance of being cool or popular or talented—it’s a lot. More like Mean Girls than musicals.

It’s pretty tough on parents too: your kids are busy working themselves out, and you’re probably stuck watching from the sidelines. They still need you, but mostly just for food and transport. Oh, and money. 

Why don’t teenagers want to be in family photos?

So, they’re pulling away from you, they’re self-conscious about how they look, and nothing’s more important than being cool. Why would they want to be in a bunch of photos with the family?

Still, if you’re hoping to have a family photoshoot with your teenagers, it might be worth finding out what they’re specifically struggling with. Maybe it just seems super dorky, especially if they’re imagining fully posed photos with everyone in matching outfits. 

In the age of touched-up images and flawless social media influencers, perhaps they’re worried that ‘real’ photos will make them look pimply or lanky or ugly. Or maybe it’s just the idea of having all that attention on them?

Getting your teenagers on board for family photos: what can you do?

There’s a lot you can do to make the idea more palatable for your teenage kids. It’ll depend on why they’re reluctant, but here are a few ideas:

Tell them why you want a photoshoot

Your kids are unique and wonderful humans, and they’re growing up incredibly fast. Before you know it, they’ll be moving out with seven other friends (because how else could they afford the rent?), taking your toaster and half your coffee cups with them, and you’ll only see them once a week when they come over to eat a home-cooked meal and get their laundry done.

Before they go, you want to celebrate being a family. You want images that bring out their smile, the sparkle in their eyes, the way they laugh with their whole body. Whatever it is, you want to capture this moment, because these are your kids and they always will be, and you love them unconditionally.

Tell them all of this.

Make It Their Idea (Kind of)

Here’s a sneaky little strategy: get your teenagers to gift you a family photo session. For Mother’s Day, your birthday, or just a well-deserved ‘thanks for all you do.’

Sure, your partner will probably be the one doing the actual buying. But when it’s their present to you, suddenly it’s not something they’re being forced into, it’s something they arranged. They’re generous. Thoughtful. Entirely responsible for this brilliant idea. Which, let’s be honest, makes them a lot less likely to complain about it.

Of course, this plan does require a bit of prompting. A casual “Hey, this would make a great gift…” followed by an email with the link and maybe a not-so-subtle subject line like “Hint. Hint. Seriously.”

Here it is, just to save you a step:

Give them some creative control

We’ll all work together on the day of the photoshoot, but let the kids share some of their ideas. Have a look at some family photography online (my family page is here) for inspiration.

Maybe they can choose the location of the shoot. It could be a favourite camping spot, your family beach house or just anywhere that makes them happy. And they might even come up with some fun suggestions for poses. Everyone swinging upside down on a tree branch, just like when they were little? I’m all for it. I mean, apart from the insurance…

Activities can be good too. Your kids might have some great ideas of things you can do, like maybe kicking a footy, a walk on the beach or toasting marshmallows over a backyard fire. Go with it!

This one might be more of a challenge, but what if you let them choose your outfit or do your hair? Anything that gives them a sense of ownership of the process will probably help your cause, but you’ll have to be brave!

Make it an event

If your kids tend to feel a bit awkward or even insecure about how they look, a bit of pampering might help. A new haircut, those new sneakers they’ve had their eye on—any of that could make the photography session more appealing.

If you want to go all out on making it a special occasion, you could go together to get your nails or eyebrows done. Maybe even a full hair and makeup session? 

Bribes?

Snacks are essential. Go for the ones you hardly ever buy so it feels like a real treat.

And sweeten the deal in other ways if you need to! Arrange to go to a sports game together after the session, or let them order their favourite takeaway for dinner. 

Or by all means buy them a new phone if it’s the only way they’ll agree to the shoot. I’m not here to judge!

Family photography with teens: how I can help

You get them to the session, and I’ll take it from there. Here’s a bit of what I’ll do to keep your teens engaged:

Get them talking

If you let me know in advance what your older kids are interested in, I’ll brush up on a few talking points to get them more comfortable. It doesn’t matter what it is—I’ll ask about gaming, competitive hobby horse-riding, nail art, coding, sports or whatever your teens are into. And if it’s memory-keeping, travel or cute stationery, I’m happy to geek out with them!

Embrace the awkward

Even when we’ve broken the ice, these teens are still hanging out with their parents in front of a camera. We can’t just magic the awkwardness away!

Instead, I’ll tell my dorkiest jokes and get everyone to be a bit silly, and we’ll all just go with it.

Movement makes for great images

Instead of standing still and feeling like the centre of unwanted attention, kids are often more comfortable if they can move around. As it happens, this also makes for some lovely unstructured shots.

Keep the photoshoot moving too

Hopefully your teens haven’t cringed their way through the whole process. But even if they’ve had fun and let their guards down a bit, they can probably have too much of a good thing. So we’ll make sure it doesn’t drag on.

Photography as wonderful as your family

They might get a bit moody, and they’d probably rather hang out with their friends than you a lot of the time. But your teenagers are still great kids, and this is a period of their life you’ll want to capture. Let’s make it as easy and fun for them as we can.