Your firstborn will always be the one who made you parents. The one who made you realise what it was like to be terrified and overjoyed at the same time, how it was possible to love without limits. And what tired really felt like.
And now that tiny baby has grown, and is about to become a big brother or sister.
Meeting a newborn sibling can be overwhelming. But there are ways to help your big kid (or kids) prepare, and things you can do to make it fun and memorable for everyone.
Newborn photo sessions can capture real-time introductions, the sweet gazes in those first baby sibling cuddles, or the giggles and looks of pure fascination in the days and weeks that follow. So you’ll always remember the moments when your big kids made room for your little one.
Do big brothers and sisters always love meeting their newborn sibling?
There’s no guarantee on how the first meeting will go. Or the second, or third. New parents can go through the whole spectrum of emotions in a day—and so can new big brothers and sisters!
There’s no need to worry if your kids don’t seem interested in the newborn. It might just take them a little while to adjust. Before too long, they’ll be best buddies (and then they’ll be fighting over toys and act like they hate each other, and then they’ll be besties again, and then they’ll be teenagers and… ok let’s not worry about that just yet)!
Getting ready to meet the new baby
Age-appropriate details on what’s about to happen
You know your own kids and how much detail to give them. But to help you explain what’s happening, there are lots of fun books you can read together.
Giles Andreae and Vanessa Cabban’s ‘There’s a House Inside My Mummy’ explains the basics of pregnancy with cute little rhymes. It helps build the anticipation of having a new brother or sister to play with, while also showing how they can interact with the little one even before they’re born. And it normalises the idea that Mum gets tired and might even feel sick sometimes.
For the younger ones, Rachel Fuller’s ‘My New Baby’ is one of a four-part series of board books that help your kid adjust to the idea of a new family member. They’ll learn about nappy changes, breastfeeding and inconsolable crying in simple, toddler-friendly language.
One on one time with the big kids
Individual dates with your older kids can remind them that they’ll always be special and loved. Make some memories with them: take them out for their favourite treats, see a movie or a show together, or maybe a trip to the zoo? Whatever it is you know they’ll love.
Let them choose a name for the new baby?
This one’s not without risks! You could try giving your kids full naming rights for their new sibling, but you might need to retract the offer if they come up with something like Baby Unicorn Poo-Poo Head (or, even worse, Six-Seven).
A better idea might be to give them a shortlist of three of four names you’re already happy with, and let them choose their favourite.
Let them help set up their newborn sibling’s bedroom
If getting them to name their unborn sibling seems a bit too scary, maybe you could get their interior design advice instead. Where should this picture go? What colour could we paint the walls? It’s a fun way to spend time together, get creative, and let the bigger kids feel useful as you all prepare for the big change to come.
Meeting a newborn sibling can be overwhelming
Hospitals can feel like strange places, with all the lights and long corridors, lots of people and sudden announcements over the speakers. Add in the weight of expectation when they finally enter Mum’s room to meet the new baby, and it can all be a bit much.
There’s only so much you can control, and there’s no way you can predict how your big kids will react. Give them space and let them take their time.
Focus on your big kids, even if it’s only for a few minutes
If possible, it might help to time the arrival with the new baby’s sleep time. That way Mum’s arms are free for big-kid cuddles. You can hear all about what they’ve done while you’ve been in hospital, see their drawings or new toys or whatever they want to show you, and let them be the centre of attention.
It’s also helpful if this time is just for the immediate family. The oohs and aahs of grandparents, aunts and uncles can be a little overpowering and intimidating, but keeping the sibling time sacred lets the kids meet the baby in their own way.
Explain all the big and little noises
You’ve done this at least once before. The snuffling sounds are adorable, and the milk-drinking sighs are just heart-meltingly cute. The screaming might not be quite as pleasant, but at least it’s not unexpected.
To your new baby’s siblings, this is all new. And it might be a bit scary. Letting them know the breath sounds are normal, and why the baby might cry, can help set the big kids at ease.
Show them how to cuddle the baby safely
This one’s up to you, and what you’re comfortable with. Babies are fragile, and your bigger kids might be nervous. But if you get them into a good position, like maybe propped up in your bed, you can let them ‘hold’ the baby (while still holding the newborn yourself). That way, they can experience those fresh baby smells and feel the warmth of the tiny body in their laps.
Make it fun for everyone
A new baby is a cause for celebration, so let your big kids join in! They’ll definitely have their own ideas for making it fun.
Play games on the way to the hospital
One way you could build the excitement is to play some guessing games on your way to meet the baby. Will it be a boy or girl? What colour will their eyes be, or their hair? Do you think they’ll be bigger or smaller than you were when you were born? If you’ve got more than one big sibling, you could even make it a competition. Winner gets the first cuddle?
Have a (quiet) hospital party!
You probably don’t want whistles or party poppers, but you can still have a fun party as a family. Bring a cake and some favourite snacks, and the kids can help decorate Mum’s hospital room.
As well as the gifts and homemade cards and whatever else they’ve brought for the baby, why not celebrate your big kids with presents from their newborn sibling? The baby could even ‘write’ them a card to thank them for being their big brother or sister.
Newborn photo sessions with the big kids
Newborn photography can be with just the parents, but it’s so special when the siblings are part of the shoot. Whether it’s capturing the very moment they first see the brand-new baby, or a more relaxed shoot at home when they’ve got to know each other a bit, images can give you a lasting record of those early days. Because there’s a special connection only siblings share.
